RELATIONSHIPS - FIRST ADVICE
My first piece of advice that I gave to Adam was not to listen to the voice of the alien spirit, the devil, allowing him to enter into Adam's paradise in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 2:15-17) Since I gave free will to people, that first piece of valuable advice came with the truth that if he did let the devil into the earth that he would die. In the writing that was called the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam already had My knowledge that caused him to live, but I warned him that if he did listen to the voice of evil that the devil would also bring his evil into the earth and people would have the experience of death and destruction.
Immediately after cautioning Adam not to allow the devil to deceive him into obeying his temptations, that is when I created Eve, so that Adam would not be alone but have a mate who could be flesh of his flesh, in total unity with Adam. a help mate for him, and that they would procreate in earth and have dominion over it.
My second valuable piece of advice, which people call a commandment, was that a man would leave his father and mother and cleave to, or be unity with, his wife. In fact, I said that the reason he could be in unity with his wife is because he would leave his parents and cleave to his wife. In other words, I advised Adam that when men find a mate that they should cut the umbilical cords with their parents and become one unit, one flesh with their wives. I gave that advice to Adam, a formula for a happy union, because I knew that if Adam did invite the devil into this paradise that the first thing the devil would do is cause strife between a couple who have become one flesh. I tried to eliminate part of the problem by telling Adam that men should cut the emotional umbilical cord with their parents upon uniting with a mate or there would be problems in the future.
So here you are, living in a world that has not taken My advice that I gave to the first man, that he should cleave to wife instead of continuing to be in unity with his parents. More often than not, most problems in a marriage are caused by the husband or wife still being still in one flesh unity with their parents instead of with their mates. Men hold onto their unified relationships with their mothers and women hold onto their fulfilling relationships with their fathers instead of their husbands and wives. The first thing that Adam did after he allowed the devil to enter the earth is he blamed Eve for his disobedience. (Genesis 3:12-13) If you will read the story, you will see that I told Adam not to allow satan into the earth even before I created Eve. That is why I said later that Eve was deceived but Adam disobeyed. (I Timothy 2:13-14; Romans 5:19) Eve did not hear My admonition to Adam because she wasn't created at the time. Adam had to have relayed My advice to her. But then when she was deceived by the devil and enticed Adam to disobey, Adam blamed her for his disobedience. Strife entered their union.
The Adam curse is that men still blame their wives for all of their failures and the parents of men blame their daughters-in-laws for the failures of their sons.
So what does that have to do with relationships? From the beginning I knew that if satan was allowed to enter the earth by Adam, then the first thing he would destroy is the unity between husband and wife, which is exactly what that evil spirit did, he put enmity between them. My caution to Adam, that a man should leave his parents and only cleave to his wife was very, very important advice because if a man still cleaves to his mother instead of to his wife, there are huge in-law problems, which still plague My children today.
When a man marries, if he does not break emotionally from his parents, expecting them to continue to assume responsibilities in his life, expecting them to continue to be his emotional support instead of his wife, then the curses that satan brought into the world at the beginning are multiplied in the lives of all of the participants, husband, wife and in-laws. The same is true about a wife. If she continues to be daddy's little princess instead of her husband's confidant, emotional support and unified "one flesh", there is never a true marriage. A husband's adoration of his wife will never live up to the adoration of her father if she has never left her parents and is still her father's "little princess" until she is truly unified with her husband. A sound marriage is My desire for both husband and wife.
So the problems with marriages has always been that parents do not allow their children to successfully cut the emotional and financial umbilical cord from them, allowing them to fulfill My desire for their children of being one flesh with their mates. When parents take the side of a husband or wife against their mates in a situation, they have handed their children over to the devil for his continued destruction of the family unit. In that scenario, I am deeply grieved that My advice is not taken, my advice that a person shall leave the emotional support, the financial support, and stop always being the rescuer of their own child to the disgust of their child's mate, They have negated My design for a perfect family unit, that husband and wife should leave the authority of their parents behind in their lives when they marry.
Parents teach their children how to mature, how to refuse evil and they educate them, but when they marry the primary influence of the parents should be over. It will be if the parents have not been guilty of clinging to their children and the children have not continued to cling to their parents.
There is peace in any family whose members have taken My advice. A parent's authority over their children is over when they marry. From there on, the parents should cease to be the authority in the lives of their children. If they insist on continuing to be authoritative in the lives of their children, they participate in the devil's plans to cause strife between husband and wife.
Children need to honor their fathers and mothers but continuing to be in total unity with the parents to the degree of breaking the bond between husband and wife is the devil's strongest weapon against families. Relationships between adult children and their parents should be like friendships, not like dependent children and parents. When parents insist on loyalty from their children to the detriment of the marriage of their children, they will live in constant turmoil because it is outside My plan for the emotional maturing and self sufficiency of their children. They cripple their children emotionally by requiring them to remain their "babies" which is what the dependent children remain instead of responsible adults. There will be in-law problems forever if parents interfere with the unity between their adult children and their mates.
I warned about it from the beginning before Eve was even created from the flesh of Adam, and it is still the truth because the devil wants emotionally immature. mommy-and-daddy-dependant- adult children through whom he can curse all families. That is his desire, not Mine.
As with all of My instructions, admonitions, principles and advice, this truth is the key to happy families.
I love you and want you to avoid the pitfalls planned by the devil through which he destroys families. This truth is in My instruction book and My Holy Spirit can teach you how to implement the necessary steps to efficiently follow My advice on how to cut the emotional dependence of adult children upon parents instead of being emotionally in unity with their mates.
Take My advice and live the abundant life. Refuse to follow it and you sign yourself up for a lifetime of in-law strife and misery.
I want you happy and free from the responsibilities of dependent adult children. They need to be in unity with their mates, not with their parents. (Ephesians 5:21-32)
Your Family Loving Father